Sister attempts to 'ground' 20-year-old college student after she continuously woke up her six-month-old baby: '[She] has zero respect for the baby or the parents'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 9, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

For many college students, it's their first taste of true independence. They're living on their own for the first time, usually out of their parent's house, with nobody around to tell them what to do (Except your RA). It's a chance for kids to learn how to make it on their own. To learn how to keep their space clean, feed themselves, and manage their schedule. It follows that a lot of college students are messy, and make mistakes. It's also where binge drinking is in fashion, and where there's drinking, there's usually some goof-ups. To say the least. 

Problems can arise when the world of the irresponsible college student and the watchful eye of home life collide. In this recent story from Reddit, a college student living with her adult sister found some trouble when the college student started to do what college students do. It's a tough dynamic to navigate, but commenters help set them straight.

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  • 01
    SECURITY php QUIET LARACON nodes N NODE
    via Tim Gouw
  • 02
    r/AmltheAsshole u/SisterGrounded Thrway ⚫ 23h AITA for "grounding" my adult sister?
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 03
    I (25F) live in a three bedroom apartment with my fiancé (27M). We have a six month old son. My younger sister Mia (fake name; 20F) recently started attending a university that's closer to where I live than both my parents' places. Because she needs to get to class early in the morning, my fiancé and I allowed her to move into our spare bedroom. She's been living with us since January.
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 04
    There's a set of rules I've been having Mia follow since she moved in, mostly to make sure everyone can live peacefully. One of the most important rules concerns arriving after my son's bedtime (usually between 19h and 20h). Mia is allowed to come home however late she wants, as long as she doesn't make too much noise.
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 05
    The door to the apartment has an electronic keypad lock, and the one we use also has a normal lock under it. Everyone has a copy of the key, but we all prefer typing in the password. However, the keypad is very noisy, and my son's nursery isn't far from the door. Every time the keypad is used after I've put the baby to sleep, he wakes up. So naturally, the rule about getting home late includes not using the keypad. Everyone, including Mia, has known about this since day one.
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 06
    At first, we had no problems. But now that Mia has gotten used to college life, she's been going out at night frequently. This past month, she has arrived home after midnight every Friday and Saturday night. She always forgets the "don't make too much noise" rule, and she has, on multiple occasions, used the keypad. My son wakes up crying every. 1. Time.
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 07
    I'd sit her down and remind her of the rule whenever this happened, but she'd continue to do it. My fiancé and I got tired of putting our baby back to sleep because of that, so I changed the password and told Mia she was no longer allowed to use the keypad. She agreed, and promised to try to make less noise. On Friday night this week, Mia went out with her friends. She came home very drunk at 4AM, and forgot that I'd changed the password. Not only did she use the keypad, she also got the passwor
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 08
    I was furious. Not only did my baby wake up crying, but I also got complaints from my neighbors. The next morning, I told Mia that I'm establishing a curfew: while living with me, she needs to be home by 20h. She won't be allowed to go out at night for the rest of the semester.
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 09
    Mia put up a fight, saying I have no right to "ground" her like this or dictate what she does with her free time, but I held my ground. I told her she'll be free to do as she pleases when she has her own place and raises her own family. While living with mine, she has to do as I say. She told our parents about this. Our mother and stepfather are both on my side; our father is on Mia's. He's saying I'm not her mother, and I have no right to treat her like a child. He also thinks it's unfair to do
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 10
    puntacana24 • 23h Enthusiast [7] NTA - I admit it does sound like a bit of a power trip to "ground" your adult sister, but it is well within your rights to enforce rules when you are allowing your sister to live there apparently for free. If she wants full freedom to do whatever she wants, she can always rent her own place. If she's in college she's definitely old enough to have some responsibility.
    via u/puntacana24
  • 11
    Beautiful-Contest-48 22h I laughed about the terminology "ground her" but in all honesty what are OPs options? Sister has zero respect for the baby or the parents. If dad is so appalled he needs to facilitate new living arrangements for her. This isn't about what or who she's doing out late it's about waking up the dang baby. Main character as it gets.
    via u/Beautiful-Contest-48
  • 12
    Tough Dentist7786 • 22h NTA, though "grounding" a 20-year old is not really a thing. I think since she can't seem to function normally when she drinks, on those nights she just needs to crash at a friend's place. I think next semester she should get a house with some friends. She would just have a much better experience her last two years of school.
    via u/ToughDentist7786
  • 13
    SisterGrounded Thrway OP • 22h I never used the word "grounding", she did. I see it more as a house rule than anything else.
    via u/SisterGroundedThrway
  • 14
    kurokomainu • 22h Pooperintendant [68] Your sister is the one acting like a spoiled child instead of a considerate adult, which is why the rule is necessary, whatever it's called. It's not like you are punishing her or policing her because you see yourself in a parental role to her -- you have to take measures to stop her coming home late at night needlessly waking up the baby, because she refuses to do the simple things needed to take care to not wake him up herself. She's being a brat and is n
    via u/kurokomainu
  • 15
    NTA. SushiGuacDNA • 23h Supreme Court Just- [135] Oh man. When I read the title I was ready to rip you a new one. Don't infantilize an adult woman! You didn't become her Mom just because she moved in with you. How wrong I was.
    via u/SushiGuacDNA
  • 16
    She lost her right to come in the house late when she woke up your child over, and over, and over. You were flexible and let her come in late as long as she didn't use the keypad. She abused that, and abused it again. Instead of grounding her, you made a very reasonable change: "You need to always use your key." A little annoying, but in her case a very reasonable requirement. And then she did it again. Grounded! Absolutely, justly grounded. As long as you are treating her like a child (well des
    via u/SushiGuacDNA
  • 17
    friendlily 22h • Pooperintendant [67] NTA and you've given her way more chances than I would have. I would tell her that if she wakes the baby up one more time, she's out. I can't imagine how annoyed your husband must be that you keep letting your adult sister act like an entitled 16-year-old.
    via u/friendlily
  • 18
    DontAskMeChit ⚫ 23h Supreme Court Just- [134] He's saying I'm not her mother, and I have no right to treat her like a child. Sounds like your sister has a new place to stay. Tell her to pack up and move in with Dad. Let her know she should have an easier time living with him since he feels like people don't have the right to set rules in their own home. ΝΤΑ
    via u/DontAskMeChit

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family drama drinking aita baby sibling rivalry sisters siblings parenting grounding family sister little sister parent Reddit Parenting Fail college college student parents grounded
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